The International Bedlam Society Old Time Radio Hour » James Traficant

REPEAL BAD LEGISLATION LIMITING FLUSH WATER IN TOILETS

admin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:30:39 +0000

by James Traficant
September 10, 1997
Mr. Speaker, a flush is not a flush. The old standard toilet flushed away 3.5 gallons of water, so Congress in its inimitable wisdom passed a new law that said all toilets in America must use only 1.6 gallons of water. Since then, Americans are flushing, flushing, flushing like mad, wasting more water than ever, recklessly trying to remove all of that void.
Mr. Speaker, it has gotten so bad there is literally a black market for the old toilet. The American people, Mr. Speaker, are a flush away from a major movement. Beam me up. I say, if Congress can repeal prohibition, Congress can repeal this toilet. That is right, think about it. From the conservative movement to the progressive movement, Congress can reach out and touch the American people where they need it the most, in the bathroom. After all, one good flush deserves another.
I yield back whatever in Members’ minds they believe needs to be yielded back.

Problems at the post office

admin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:17:53 +0000

by James Traficant
PROBLEMS AT THE POST OFFICE
September 17, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Martha Cherry, a letter carrier for 18 years, has been fired. The Postal Service said, `Your stride is too short.’ If that is not enough to put a runner in your pantyhose, check this out.
According to the Postal Service, they wrote in the report that the heels of your leading foot did not pass the toe of your trailing foot by more than 1 inch, thus it took you 10 minutes longer to deliver the mail.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. Is this the KGB or the Postal Service? The truth is, these postal managers could not deliver their way out of a paper bag. I believe they do not even know their heads from their assets. I say the Congress should join with Martha Cherry and give her a hand in putting her 13-inch goose step right up their gestapo tactics.
After all, I admit the Postal Service has a problem, but it is not Martha Cherry’s footwork.
I yield back the balance of all this chicanery.

Coincidence

admin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:14:51 +0000

COINCIDENCE
by James Traficant

October 8, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Patricia Mendoza heckled the President; she got audited. Kent Brown sued the First Lady; he got audited. The National Center for Public Policy criticized the White House; they got audited. Billy Dale got the White House mad; he got audited. Paula Jones refused a cash settlement; she got audited.
If that is not enough to tax your disgust, Shelly Davis, the author of Unbridled Power, who testified about IRS abuses before the Senate, got a notice in the mail yesterday; she is being audited.
Unbelievable. After all this, an IRS spokesman said, coincidence, all coincidence. I say, Mr. Speaker, the IRS has turned into a bunch of political prostitutes.
I want to apologize to all the hookers in America for having associated them with the IRS. I say beam me up, dot com, coincidence this.